The Other Woman

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
Directed by Nick Cassavetes

Reviewed by Brendan Dousi
[Rating: 1/5]

The pure Romantic Comedy or “Rom-Com” seems to be an endangered species lately. It seems that it’s not worth having a Rom-Com unless it has some kind of other element to it. About Time had Time Travel, Warm Bodies had Zombies and Nick Cassavetes’ The Other Woman has, well, poop-jokes. Perhaps because of the success of the wonderfully written and witty Bridesmaids a few years ago, Rom-Coms feel they need that little bit extra to gain the edge. Something to please all, and hey, who doesn’t like a good “Oh no, there’s a dog shitting on the rug!” joke? So, will The Other Woman join the likes of Bridesmaids in the halls of revered comedy or is it just simply an abomination and a tarnish on the careers of everyone involved? I think you already know the answer.

Cameron Diaz is Carly Whitten, a hard-ass lawyer who has finally found the perfect man. Mark King (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is sweet, sensitive, sexy and great in bed. What else could you want? Well, obviously it would be preferable if he wasn’t married. When Carly finds out that she is not so much Mark’s girlfriend as she is his mistress, she wants nothing to do with it. All she’d rather do is continue damning men to her sassy personal assistant Lydia (Nicki Minaj). Unfortunately, Mark’s wife Kate (Leslie Mann) won’t let her do that. She’s quirky and over-friendly with no one else to talk to, and through sheer force of will quickly initiates a strong friendship with Carly. When the two find out about Marks’ third affair with the voluptuous Amber (Kate Upton), they bring her into their circle to plan the lamest ever revenge fantasy against Mark.

Yep, according to The Other Woman, “Puffy Nipples + Incontinence = Female Empowerment”. This movie was clearly once a mediocre but serviceable script of a Rom-Com revenge fantasy, simply because it’s so clear where they shoved in elements that don’t fit. It reeks of studio interference, of people who watched Bridesmaids and went, “Wow, that film was funny and it had gross-out humour in it! That must be what the ladies want these days!” There are just random, unfunny elements of slap-stick and gross-out humour which feel so out of place they make you physically cringe. What’s worse is that seems to replace any other sort of humour; this film is almost completely void of wit and heart, an empty husk filled with diarrhoea, over-large dogs and Cameron Diaz.

The three lead stars seemed to be trying their hardest, they really did. Cameron Diaz can be great with the right material, and this type of character suits her, it’s just the content of the film lets her down. Leslie Mann really was trying to make it work, bringing energy and enthusiasm to a script that just had nothing for her to work with. As for Kate Upton’s acting debut, her character was basically a walking pair of boobs, but to be honest she had a certain charisma that really made it work. I think in certain roles Upton could have a fairly decent acting career. Hopefully this film won’t put too much of a dampener on it.

The most insulting thing about The Other Woman is that it wasn’t even technically well made. The director, editors and whoever else involved in piecing it together did simply a juvenile job. Comedic timing and staging was off, the film was just way too long and the choice of soundtrack was simply idiotic. What’s that, the women are having a fun, girls-night-in? Let’s slap “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper over the top of it. It’s just lazy, sloppy work on everyone’s behalf.

It’s almost impossible to recommend this film to anyone. There are so many better films out at the moment that you could spend your money on. The Other Women is a failure in both the ‘Rom’ and the ‘Com’ elements and most of the time is just plain boring. It doesn’t work, and it feels like it wasn’t trying very hard to work either. Go see The Lego Movie instead; it has comedy and a romantic subplot  with the benefit of leaving everyone’s dignity intact.