Of course the ‘Queen’ was late. Madonna’s tardiness has become the subtext of her Australian Rebel Heart tour. When this reviewer heard that fan club members had stood in the rain for four hours before a free show in Melbourne, it didn’t sound that bad. These were card carrying ‘fan club’ people prepared to wait in the drizzle singing ‘Borderline’ for hours. It was no biggie.
By the time the Madonna juggernaut rolls into Brisbane for a mid-week show at the Entertainment Centre it’s a different kettle of fish, it’s an official Rebel Heart show which been played out many times already all over the globe. There’s no real excuse for the Queen to be late. Before the arrival, DJ Mary Mac pounds out a set that feels far too long and hits a low point when ‘Down Under’ comes blaring through the speakers. That nod feels like a grab for sympathy because Mary Mac knows that Madonna isn’t quite ready to grace the stage.
By 11pm, Madonna is still a no-show. To corrupt a phrase from Raymond Chandler, her tardiness would make a Priest kick in a plate glass window. The wait is so mind numbingly boring in the bleachers that a sea of people are posting to Facebook just how mind numbingly boring the waiting is … it’s kind of like being stuck in economy on a Virgin flight that you know will be delayed for two hours on the tarmac.
The people in the $500 seats alongside the runway are hardcore fans who seem to be having a ball. Finally at 11.15pm the curtain drops, masked men emerge waving crosses that belong in a bad Dan Brown novel and Madonna descends from the ceiling. After the adrenalin rush of her arrival, it feels as it the energy has now been sucked from the room. The show is built on big set pieces and the opening gambit feels like it’s lumbering. After ‘Iconic’ and ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’, the show has a lift as the band kick out the jams with a searing ‘Burning Up’.
Madonna makes a gag about fans arriving too early. If she was playing a club on the weekend, she would have a valid point.
The sets change and the ‘Joan of Arc/Samurai’ look is replaced by ‘Rockabilly Meets Tokyo’. For a minute the stage just looks like a pimped up garage from the Grease musical. Madonna prowls the runway and highlights include ‘Heartbreak City’ and ‘Deeper And Deeper.’
It’s here the show took a turn … Madonna loosened up and a feeling start to pervade among those who were left that ‘the last train has already gone … we’re all in this together’. Her conversation with the audience felt more natural, she busted out some stunning dance moves, she was prepared to have a laugh and the set felt less ‘programmed’. ‘La Isla Bonita’ was a standout, as was ‘Crazy For You’. Madonna tried to get an improv version of ‘Can’t You Out Of My Head’ off the ground and wondered why Kylie hadn’t turned up at a gig yet?
The final furlong included ‘Music’, ‘Candy Shop’ and a ukulele driven ‘La Vie En Rose’. The night had developed a surreal edge. Nicole from the crowd won a banana shaped hip-flash while ten-year old Grace earned a bouquet and learned how to swear.
The whole shebang closed with a rousing ‘Holiday’. The event, which was magnificently staged, ended on a note that felt bleary and surreal. Thanks for the memories Madonna.
Sean Sennett
Rebel Hearts Tour dates: Brisbane Entertainment Centre, Thursday; Allphones Arena, Sydney, Saturday & Sunday (final show of the world tour).
