Goddess
Starring: Laura Michelle Kelly, Ronan Keating, Magda Szubanski
Directed By: Mark Lamprell
Reviewed by Danielle Muir

Two Stars

I’m sure that repressed stay-at-home mothers throughout the country will have a guffaw or two at new Australian musical caper Goddess, but I’m equally sure they’d probably be the only ones.  Sure, Goddess has a certain odd charm about it – mostly due to a likeable cast – however those without children, those who aren’t women and those who like over-the-top singing to mask songs that just aren’t that good will have a grand old time.  Unfortunately I’m guessing that’s not many of us.

So for all those mothers who feel like they are the ones who want to chuck the tanty because of their unruly children, then Elspeth Dickens (Kelly) is your hero.  Sick of being stuck home alone in Tasmania with their two youngins’ whilst her husband is out saving whales, Elspeth sets up a webcam in her kitchen where she records her ‘sink songs’ to pass the time.  Soon gathering a worldwide following, Elspeth is whisked off to the big city, having been chosen as the spokesperson for a glamorous advertising campaign.  But, surprise surprise, she finds it’s not ultimately everything in life she thought she was missing.

I’m going to quickly run over the positives before I point out Goddess’ biggest downsides.  Yes, the choreography is well done, and the numbers – albeit tonally bland – have glitz and glamour galore.  Kelly is a bright spark and nails every move and note.  Magda Szubanski is also entertaining as the high-fashion ad exec wining and dining Elspeth to make her a star.  The kids are cute and the countryside’s beautiful.  Mothers group nails their narky roles with Corinne Grant being especially hilarious, nose upturned and hair perfectly coiffed.  There.

Now, whilst it does pander to issues that I’m sure many mothers can empathise with, Goddess has a few gigantic plot blunders that I just couldn’t overlook.

*Spoilers ahead*

Elspeth is built up to be a repressed, frustrated character; however there aren’t substantial seeds of doubt planted about her love for the husband and children.  As soon as James returns from his endeavours on the high seas she’s overcome with delight.  The two are very affectionate and despite having a few tiffs seem surely in love.  Why is it then when Elspeth finally jets off to the big city, she goes for a few night wanders where at the end of the night she sticks her tongue down his throat for a steamy kiss in front of the hotel?  This is never mentioned again – and I’m pretty sure that cheating on your spouse is a little more serious than ‘finding yourself.’  Also, the moment where Elspeth spills her heart out to James in a dramatic ‘I didn’t realise I’d fallen out of love with you until I fell in love with you again’ moment just doesn’t gel.  Not enough happened to make me believe they’d fallen out of love at all, something which could destroy a marriage which is not light-hearted musical fare.  No matter how much glitter is thrown at my eyes to mask that.

I was able to have a quick chat with Magda and Ronan at the Queensland premiere of Goddess.  For Magda the draw card was the song-and-dance –   “Well it’s a great character, but the kick-ass song I have to say.  With choreography by Kelly Abby, produced by Jude Morris and it’s just fantastic.”  For Ronan, it was “the story.  I’ve got three kids myself and spend time on the road, and understanding that relationship between people, being away all the time and then re-immersing yourself back into family life, it makes sense to me, I do it all the time.”  It appears so did the transition from singing to acting, with seemed like a “natural progression for me.  It’s something I’ve been trying to do for ten years.”