X-Men: Apocalypse

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Sophie Turner, Oscar Isaac
Directed By: Bryan Singer
Written By: Simon Kinberg

Reviewed by Brendan Dousi

[rating: 2.5/5]

Coming out of X-Men: Apocalypse I was a little worried. Was this it? Have we reached the saturation point? Have I, as a self-proclaimed comic-book-loving fanboy actually started to feel the Superhero fatigue? Have I actually had enough? But then I shook that off. No, I am more than happy to see hundreds of more films starring people with powers. What I actually have is Apocalypse-Fatigue. I am absolutely done with superhero movies that decide to put more effort into a half-assed plot about world destruction than they do bothering to develop three quarters of their characters.

Something went wrong with X-Men: Apocalypse. It had the recipe for a wonderful installation to the franchise. Director Bryan Singer has done nothing but good things for the franchise so far in three previous directorial forays. We have some powerhouse, hot-right-now actors reprising their roles from the previous films, promising to develop those characters and their relationship with each other and the audience even further. Then we have some fresh, yet familiar, characters ready to make us fall in love with their younger selves. Not to mention one of the best actors working right now is playing the villain. What could possibly go wrong? Quite a number of things, apparently.

I was actually shocked at how ham-fisted, lazy, cliché-ridden, melodramatic and border-line corny both the direction and the script were for this film. The script is full of some horrible contrivances, terrible dialogue and all of the subtlety of Wolverine performing an appendectomy with his snikt-claws. But the direction? I wouldn’t be surprised if Singer wasn’t even on set. I didn’t recognise him in this film. It was brutish, clunky and so obviously over the top that it is next to impossible to think that this is the same person who made X-2, one of the best Superhero films of our time. There was literally a scene were Fassbender’s Magneto falls to his knees and curses the heavens. Seriously. It almost gives Revenge of the Sith’s Vader ‘Noooo!’ scene a run for its money.

I may be being a little harsh here, a reflection of my bitter disappointment. There is still quite a lot here to enjoy if you love yourself some over-the-top spectacle. The action scenes are often quite fun, if a little run-of-the-mill. Evan Peters as Quicksilver returns and, just like the previous film, is easily one of, if not the, best things about the film. Beyond how technically impressive his scenes are, Peters brings such a delightful presence and levity to the scenes he’s in that it’s just a delight to have him around. It was also nice to see these younger versions of familiar characters interacting. Sophie Turner as Jean Grey and Tye Sheridan as Scott Summers/Cyclops both do a fantastic job with what they’re given and Kodi Smit-McPhee as Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler has the potential to give Quicksilver a run for his money in the delightful department.

Unfortunately, just having these characters there isn’t enough. The film banks extremely heavily on the fact that the audience has seen these characters before and recognises them that it doesn’t even both to name half of them. Alexandra Shipp plays a great, refreshingly African, Ororo Munroe/Storm or at least I assume she does. Search me if I can remember them even mentioning her name. Same goes for the majority of the rest of this ensemble. Everyone is just stuffed in with barely a wink at motivation or characterisation. The only three characters who even have something resembling a character arc are Fassbender’s Magneto, McAvoy’s Professor Xavier and Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique. But, guess what, it’s the same bloody character arc Mystique has had and resolved in every other film Jennifer Lawrence has been in. Learning it’s ok to be an out and proud blue chick. Hell, the only outlandish colour any of these Mutants seem to be is blue anyway. You’re not that unique.

What it seems we have here is another Superhero film where the studio knows the audience is going to come see it, so very little is done to make it anything other than ‘eh’. What should have been an important chapter in this franchises saga is simply a placeholder film, stagnating in the realm ‘It’s ok, I guess’. While we wait for an X-Men film we deserve, with a well thought-out, character driven story and engaging plot I guess we’ll have to settle for a couple of cardboard cut-outs with superpowers standing around while stuff explodes around them.