Grown Ups 2
Starring: Adam Sandler, Salma Hayek, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade
Directed by Dennis Dugan
Reviewed by Brendan Dousi
[rating: 0.5/5]
In 2010, Adam Sandler pulled together a bunch of his ‘comedy’ buddies and director Dennis Dugan to make a ‘comedy’ for the absolute lowest common denominator. In 2013, everyone’s back together (sans Rob Schneider) and ready to supply the world with another dose of ‘comedy’ from the Grown Ups gang. Will Sandler and gang be able to surprise audiences with a fresh, intelligent and poignant comedy that no one expected, or will they simply redefine the ‘low’ in ‘lowest common denominator’?
Grown Ups 2 opens with Lenny (Adam Sandler) waking up next to his wife Roxanne (Salma Hayek) to find a CGI stag eating his chips next to his bed. Lenny then wakes up Roxanne who screams which startles the stag which for some reason causes it to unload a gallon of piss into Lenny’s, and the audience’s, face. In a way, the rest of the movie is as if that stag just never stopped pissing. Each member of the gang has his own vague issue to deal with that somewhat helps string the gags together. Lenny and the others have to deal with some jerky frat boys (led by Taylor Lautner) who won’t let them swim at a childhood watering hole. Eric (Kevin James) is worried his son is stupid, Kurt (Chris Rock) doesn’t want his daughter going out with a weird guy and Marcus (David Spade) has to look after his illegitimate 6 foot tall teenaged son that he just found out about. Yep, it’s all as interesting and ‘hilarious’ as it sounds.
The main problem with Grown Ups 2, and that’s a large list to narrow down, is that there is absolutely no conceivable plot whatsoever. Any semblance of actual story is just the weakest excuse in existence to get from one gag to the next. Gags of the calibre of the ‘Burp Snart’ where Kevin James’ character has the unique and ‘hilarious’ ability to burp, sneeze and fart at the same time. Comedy gold, people, comedy gold. Beyond being purely unfunny, the movie will continue to perplex you as you wonder why people you actually like would be in something like this, even as a cameo (I’m looking at you Steve Buscemi). The only redeeming qualities Grown Ups 2 has to offer is that Maya Rudolph (Deanne, Kurt’s Wife) is awesome as always, her comedic timing almost making up for the woeful material she’s given to work with, and that the whole thing culminates into a giant bonding fight scene. I’ve always been a sucker for the giant group-bonding fight scene. These two things, however, are not enough to make up for a movie that consists of a long series of lame, infantile and often sexist gags that appear to be actively trying to assassinate your brain cells.
Please, if you have any respect for cinema or any notion of comedy, do not go and see this movie. It will insult you, perplex you and, most unforgivably, bore you. It’s not funny, it doesn’t have a story and any actor or personality that you may be interested in seeing it for is most definitely wasted. Almost everyone in this movie does have some sense of comedy, talent and charisma but they went ahead and made Grown Ups 2 anyway. They should have been better than this, and you deserve better than this. Don’t go see Grown Ups 2. Don’t encourage them.
